Forgetting Life
by FloralHipster
Summary: A night before the Yule Ball is filled with regret, with Ginny finally realizing that building her world around Harry Potter was one of the poorest decisions she had made. One-shot; one-sided G/H; mentions of H/Cho.


Forgetting Life

One-shot; one-sides Ginny/Harry, mentions Harry/Cho

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><p>Ginny's body shook with tears that she knew were silly and childish and awful but that she could not possibly stop from coming. She knew she was being melodramatic and crazed, but the simplicity of her sadness in the face of all she had confronted during her three years at Hogwarts made her feel so much worse. She wasn't crying because another nightmare tormented her with the memory of Tom Riddle, and her tears weren't for her brother Ron who had put his life in danger more times than she could count. It was all so much more foolish than that. Ginny Weasley was crying over a boy. Of course, she tried to reason with herself, it wasn't just any boy. It was the Boy Who Lived. It was the boy who saved everyone's lives. More importantly, it was the boy who saved <em>her<em> life. That was something no one could get over, no matter how hard they tried. Harry wasn't just the wizarding world's hero; he was her own personal savior, a god held up on high. Still, she felt, this pain was selfish. There were so many other things to worry about, so many problems that needed her attention. For Merlin's sake, Harry was going through challenges that played games with his very being, and she was sobbing for the fact that it never passed his mind to ask her to a stupid ball. She was guilty, and her own shame was the key to a flood of tears and memories that would not stop.

Her first glimpse of Harry had been when she was only 10, dropping Ron off at Platform 9 3/4. She hadn't, of course, known who he was then, but she had thought that he was very, very cute. His eyes had caught her's for just a few seconds, but a hopeless crush had developed right then. At only ten, the feelings Ginny had for this scrawny boy with moppy black hair were new and strange to her. Thoughts of him filled her mind, and she prayed that Ron would befriend him so that she might have a look at him once again. Of course, Ron had become Harry's very best friend, and her brother had written to the family staying at the Burrow about his true identity. Ginny had been amazed that she had even been allowed to stand in Harry's presence. She asked her parents everything that they remembered about the Wizarding War, and she read books far too complicated for such a young witch to understand, hoping to learn more about the boy she had decided she was in love with. Mrs. Weasley had noticed a change in her daughter, and she had pulled Ginny aside to give her a talk about what adults called "the birds and the bees." It was during this talk that Ginny had asked her mother about marriage, and her mother had looked startled and told her that she was much too little to be thinking of such things. This did not perturb the youngest Weasley, who continued to think about wedding Mr. Potter and how wonderful being his wife would be.

Ginny was completely unprepared the next time she had seen Harry. It was summer, she was in pajamas, and her flaming red hair could not have looked any more uncontrolled. How he had gotten into her kitchen, Ginny had no idea; all she had known was that the love of her life was staring at her, and he had said hello, and she had looked a complete mess. Faced with that situation, Ginny had done the most logical thing she could think of: she ran away. That morning had been disappointing beyond words. She had spent her whole summer primping and pining, making sure that when she was Sorted, she would look strong and confident, presenting herself as a snapshot of the perfect girlfriend for the most famous wizard of their age. Of course, upon seeing the wizard in question, all her resolve had crackled. She forgot everything she had taught herself, and she was humiliated. When she was actually Sorted, she was just as nervous and meek as the rest of her fellow first years, and her bright hair was the only thing that had made the poor girl stand out. Somehow, however, the Sorting Hat had been able to look past the cowardice Ginny had thought was blatantly obvious in her character and placed her in Gryffindor, the bravest House of them all. The older Ginny looked upon this memory with happiness, feeling the surge of pride that comes when recalling the special traits of one's House. Of course, she thought, this good time did not last for long.

She remembered how terrified she had been at the end of her very first school year when she woke up in the Chamber of Secrets of all places, with Harry Potter next to her. She had been mortified that she had caused so much destruction due to an ignorant mistake. Lying there, she was sure she'd be sent to Azkaban. All her fears evaporated however, when Harry, so gently, so kindly, had picked her up and repeatedly told her that she would be ok. He let her explain her panic and remorse, then calmed her down with the sound of his voice. She had been so close to dying; she had teetered on the edge between life and death, falling into the shadows, almost slipping behind a veil, only to be briefly pulled out again. The feeling Ginny had when Harry had rescued her was so immense and beautiful and pure that even the girl who experienced it could not possibly describe something so wonderful. It was as if she had been surrounded by a stormy cloud of dust, and here was Harry, brushing it off her, allowing her to see again, allowing her to breathe again, allowing her to simply be again. This rescue acted as an epiphany for Ginny; she laughed at her old "love" for Harry. She knew it wasn't real. It was just a crush, something for a small girl to hold onto to make herself feel bigger. Her love after being rescued, however, was the real thing; she could feel him deep in her soul, and when his skin touched hers, her nerves seemed to cling to him, enveloping her brain with the undiluted sensation of _Harry_. Everything about him called to her, and she felt sad when his green-eyed gaze parted from hers. When he left the Hogwarts' Express and went home, Ginny felt as if he was yanking her tender heart along with him. When she arrived at the Burrow, her parents and siblings tried their best to make sure she was adjusted and that she could cope with what Voldemort had done to her. But despite their best efforts, nothing could make her feel like Harry did. Absolutely nothing.

Her second year at Hogwarts' started with something Ginny had never expected to see: Harry Potter, the strongest boy she knew, broke down. Dementors, searching the school train for Sirius Black, had shaken him to his core in a way she was sure nothing could. Throughout the rest of the train ride, Ginny remained unnerved, unsure just what to think. Undoubtedly, this humanized Harry for her, but it also caused Ginny so much fear; her protector could not save her from all things. Realizing this, Ginny knew she had to think for herself again. She had to be strong, a true Gryffindor, capable of being Harry's equal, which she now thought was in her reach. She had to capture his attention, if she truly were to get what she wanted.

This plan, the reminiscing Ginny thought wryly, obviously did not go so well. Her whole second year had been devoted to learning about hexes and charms and the dark arts. She needed to know all about these things so that she could help Harry and gain his respect. She studied like a demon and aced every exam. She stayed up late researching dementors, trying to figure out what Harry and she could do about them. She remembered the Saturday she spent in the library in which she finally grasped the more complex details of the dementor repealing Patronus charm. She had raced back up to the common room feeling absolutely elated, rushing to find her confident, Hermione. How she wished that conversation had turned out differently. Instead of being congratulated and hailed a perfect match for Harry, Hermione let Ginny down gently, informing her of Harry's meetings with Professor Lupin and his complete lack of interest in the younger girl. Hermione advised Ginny to forgot about him and move on to other boys. She wasn't prepared to do that. Not then, anyways.

Wiping her tears, Ginny knew she had to take Hermione's advice now. Harry liked Cho Chang, and she could never, in her wildest dreams, compete with the beautiful Ravenclaw. Cho was a brilliant Seeker, she had skin clear of outrageous freckles, and she just knew so much more, more than Ginny would ever know from hours spent in the library. She could help him overcome what Ginny wouldn't attempt in mere fantasy. She was better for him. Ginny knew this to be true. She would let go and pray to the sky that her love was enough to get her through a lifetime without Harry.

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><p>My first fanfiction; really, my first big piece of work. (: Reviews and critique are appreciated! I hope you enjoyed.<p> 


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